Parenting can be the most rewarding and joyful experience; but it's not just about wonderful experiences. It is not an easy job. You should always be in control of your emotions and temper when they're throwing tantrums and you feel like you’re going to blow up. Whenever you feel like almost yelling at your kids, I would suggest, walk away instead. You might want to give yourself a break and think things through. Yelling is definitely not the answer to make your kids follow your commands; it’s a big parenting failure. We are not perfect but we can always do the right thing to discipline our children. If you think you’re being too harsh/hard on your kids, don’t hesitate to apologize. It’s also important for them to see that even us make mistakes, do things we don’t mean and most importantly acknowledge the mistakes we have made and then say the magic word "I'm sorry"
Parenting can be stressful especially when you have kids close in age like mine. Sibling rivalry is normal, however it’s necessary for us to teach them how to respect each other. Constantly, I always need to act like a referee when they seem to engage in a fight. Yeah, I know kids will always be kids but it doesn't mean I would tolerate their bad actions and they would be exempted for punishments. We don't need to be hard on them when they made a mistake, there are always alternative punishment that's right for them. (ex. I will not allow you to watch your favorite cartoon today because you did not behave correctly.) I let them stay in the room until they realize what they did wrong. When they're ready to listen to my sermon, I'll talk to them and explain why are their actions not acceptable to us.
Be a good role model! Good manners should always start at home and should be taught by parents. If you want your kids to show good behavior/manners, you must also practice the same thing. Remember, we should set as a good example to them.
The uncontrollable toddler. Toddler stage is a very difficult period for parents. I've also had difficult time handling my kid's challenging behavior. They always say “No” to everything and refuse to do things as I tell them. We cannot boss them around coz they might adapt that kind of behavior.
The best thing we can do is gradually teach them how to behave well. Since they're just kids and we know that they can't learn things immediately, then the least we can do is constantly practice and show them the exact meaning of good behavior.
- Raising your voice when disciplining your children is ineffective because if you're constantly doing that, they might think that's normal and won't be affected by it anymore and most likely won't listen and just ignore you.
- Use appropriate words according to their maturity.
- · Look at them in the eye so they would know that you are serious with your message.
- Give them activity that would make them busy in a favorable way. Something that they enjoy doing at the same time they are also learning. Ex. Crayons and coloring books, riding toys (good for ages 5 and up.), puzzles, building blocks, shape sorters, etc.
- Discuss the acceptable and unacceptable things to do.
- Don’t easily get mad when they refuse to share their toys. Explain to them the importance of sharing and compliment them every time you see them sharing.
- Most of all, praise their good behavior.
Show affection. Kids never stop needing affection from their parents. I always show them that they are loved and treasured no matter what. I am a very affectionate mom and I never let the day pass without telling them how much I love them. Seeing them grow up with exact same behavior towards us is such a reward.
Always keep in mind that what you taught your kids at home are much more likely to be followed when they are outside. Take time to talk with your kids, try to understand their needs and help them develop their characters. Have a little conversation with them about simple things in life...
I don’t have all the answers but I do hope you find these tips helpful for successful parenting.
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